No, I don’t remember the first time that I picked up a pen, pencil, or crayon. I don’t remember what the first word I learned to write was, but I do remember writing the word “cat” on a pencil container we have when I was around four years old. I also remember my mom not being to happy about that. But, what can I say? Sometimes you just have to write about what you like, and at this time in my life I absolutely loved my cats.
I have many memories of writing, but not as many as I wish that I could remember. The one that really stood out to me when I was thinking about writing this paper was a time in elementary.
In second grade one of the requirements was to write, illustrate, and share our stories. It was my turn to share, so I stood up so excited to tell my class about my Christmas. I went on and on about what I did that day, what presents I got, and my ride up north to see all of my other family members. At the end of my story I said something about me and my sister Charlotte arguing about who got the best present. It made everyone else laugh so I just laughed right along. When the laughing ceased, my teacher gave me the “I‘m ashamed of you look” and then asked me one simple question.
“Did you really want everyone to know that?”
“Know what?” I replied innocently.
“That you and your sister fight?”
I don’t remember what I said back to her exactly. I haven’t thought about how her questioning my writing has effected me today. Until now. Now that I think of it, I have noticed that when I look back at the papers I have written, I am questioning myself. At times in writing papers, this can be a good thing but at the same time it can also be a bad. You can examine your writing and change little spots in it that you wish to, but to have the feeling that your whole paper just isn’t right can make your confidence wither down. Having the thoughts run through your head that someone is going to say something that you don’t want to hear on the paper that you spent so much time working on is a moment I dread.
I am happy and at the same time unhappy about what my second grade teacher said to me. What she said has made me over think my writing so I feel like it’s not good enough, but she has also helped me in the way that I look more carefully through my papers I have or have to write. Every experience we have has a positive and negative effect. We just have to decide on which effect to pay more attention too.
To come out of the cave on my writing is what I hope to learn to do this year. It will take time, and it is something that I have to change. “Don‘t be afraid to change. You may loose something good, but you may gain something better.”
